Always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always, always love.
Is it right to say to grin and bear it?
One can hope that time might heal wounds, though they might not have existed at all, if not for your exposure.
To show yourself is always a risk, always a chance, taken with the knowledge that pain might follow.
You can never be certain whether you will be viewed with favor, or whether one might bother to view at all.
To expose yourself, to make yourself vulnerable, leaves you in the hands of another.
You choose to place your trust.
When that trust fails, is it right to simply say that you should grin and bear it, knowing the decision was your own?
She was fashionable. I don’t think anyone of us would deny that as being absolute fact. She dressed impeccably, and had the figure and stature to carry the clothing without even the slightest of effort. She was, doubtlessly, an absolute paragon of modern Asian-American fashion.
And beyond that, she was pretty. Though, pretty was a bit of an understatement. Pretty intelligent. Pretty adorable. Pretty. Pretty being the least flattering word I could use to describe her. She was rather beautiful, if it were within my right to say.
Looks aside - both dress and her physicality - she had the world going for her. A rather inviting air of politeness. An amusingly outgoing laugh. A clumsy accent that hid competence and intelligence. And did she have intelligence. A quick, calculating, and decisive mind. Precision and flawlessness, alongside a rather lackadaisical attitude which came with her quick understanding. She always seemed a bit… Bored. Dedicated, when it was demanded, but so able that she found herself bored when the demand wasn’t quite there. Maybe a feeling I could relate to.
She had a fair deal going for her. And she certainly was attractive, in her own ways.
Ya see, what you can’t afford to get, is that going unheard never stopped you before. There’s no reason why it should now. Speak. Speak. Speak. And speak again. Doesn’t matter if you go unheard. Speak because you want to speak, not because you want others to listen.
At least it’s someone that gets it. I can live with that. More than anything else, I can live with that fact. Even if I can’t live with any other aspect or fact of the matter, I can live with knowing that at least someone gets it, and that one person fell into the right hands. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m glad. More than anything. I’m glad.
You always mess things up when it counts, don’t you, William? When are you going to get yourself together? It won’t amount to anything in the end, will it?
I admit it. I’m lonely. I’m very lonely, and the thing is, I’ve been so used to being lonely and alone that I don’t know how to reach out to anyone or someone.
Sometimes it’s just easier to live with feeling alone than to reach out, simply because it’s all you’re really familiar with.